While surfing the web, I found a list of funny bumper stickers. Feel free to list your favorite ones or add new ones in your comments.

Watch out for the idiot behind me!
To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go
I brake for........................OH SHIT NO BRAKES
There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead.
Learn from your parent’s mistakes use birth control
Friends help you move; real friends help you move the body.
Very funny Scotty; now beam down my clothes
Low riders are for little boys who can't get it up.
IF THIS STICKER IS GETTING SMALLER, THE LIGHT IS PROBABLY GREEN
A Day Without Sunshine Is Like, You Know, Night
Ass, gas or grass, nobody rides for free.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.
Be Nice To Your Kids; They’ll Pick Out Your Nursing Home.
Before giving someone a piece of mind be sure you have enough to spare!
Blow your nose, your horn works fine.
Boycott shampoo, demand real poo instead.
Children are like farts: your own are just about tolerable but everyone else's are horrendous.
Condoms are easier to change than diapers!
Confucius say "Man who stands on toilet is high on pot."
Constipated People Don't Give A Shit
Could You Drive Any Better If I Shoved That Cell Phone Up Your Ass?
Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.
Don't come knocking if the car is rocking.
Don't drink to drown your sorrow. Sorrow knows how to swim.
Don't fuck with my head and I won't think with my dick!
Don't laugh; your daughter may be in back.
Due to budget cuts, light at end of tunnel will be out.
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, and then the suffering...
FLORIDA: Home of Electile Dysfunction
God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier.
God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!"
Guns don't kill people. Postal workers do
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!!!
He who farts in church sits on his own pew.
Hey idiot- You're driving a car, not a phone booth
I admire gay men, they leave more women for me!
I am not speeding I am qualifying.
I can resist everything except temptation
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
I Don’t Have To Be Dead To Donate My Organ
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
I Must Be A Proctologist Because I Work With Assholes
I Need Someone Really Bad. Are You Really Bad?
I used up all my sick days so I called in dead!
If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
If It Ain’t Broken... Fix It ‘Til It Is
If it doesn't fit, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacement anyway.
If we are what we eat, I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?
If you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast
I'm so hungry I am farting fresh air.
Rap Is To Music What Etch-A-Sketch Is To Art
Remember My Name – You’ll Be Screaming It Later
Santa’s Elves Are Just A Bunch Of Subordinate Clauses
Sex is a misdemeanor . . .the more I miss it, the meaner I get!!
The horn blows, so does the driver!
The Sex Was So Good That Even The Neighbors Had A Cigarette.
Welcome To Shit Creek – Sorry, We’re Out Of Paddles
When The Chips Are Down, The Buffalo Is Empty
Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
Yea, though I walk through the valley of death, I will fear no evil, for I am the meanest son of a bitch in the valley.
Is uranus a black hole?

tags: humor  bumper stickers  

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