Emotional and Physical Intimacy
A/N: Pardon the long gap in entries, but a lot is happening in my life right now and I've not had time to write a proper entry. Because of the ongoing nature of these events, this entry will, unfortunately, be a very short and rambling one.
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I've heard many women and some men say that they must be in love before they feel comfortable with physical intimacy. In other words, when they finally have sex with someone, it is symbolic of how they feel about the other person. Such people more readily express their feelings, but are highly selective with whom they share their bodies. Physical intimacy follows emotional intimacy.
As for me, I've always freely shared my body without it necessarily being freighted with any deep emotions beyond sheer chemistry. However, I am much more reserved about whom I share my innermost thoughts and feelings. I don't expect to fall in love with everyone I have sex with, nor do I expect them to fall in love with me. Most of the time, it's simply meeting a basic need.
I'm someone who believes that talk is, indeed, cheap. I'm not going to tell someone I love them if I don't, even if I want to have sex with them. When I say the words, I mean them. The sex doesn't happen as a result of love; rather, in the rare instance that love happens, it arises independently of the sex, even though the end result may be to make the sex even better.
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"Thy body is all vice, thy mind is all virtue" -- Unknown
Dave,
I don't think that gut-level chemistry, attraction at the
hormonal level is all that much of a choice. I've lusted after and had
good sex with people I've not particularly liked and would never consider
having a long term relationship with. Conversely, I've known people whom
I've liked, respected, and even loved, but with whom I've lacked chemistry.
And, through experience, I've discovered that if the chemistry is absent,
the sex won't work well, either. Just my experience -- your mileage may
vary.
W
W
Do you believe the Chemistry of attraction is the same for both men and women? What characteristics about a person attracts the chemisty. Their physical appearnace ,their personality or the elusive obvious? noe of the above. :)
Dave
Dave,
I suspect that, deep down, it's the same for both men and women, more or less, when the filters of culture and conditioning are accounted for. The chemistry itself is indefinable and can't be neatly reduced to simple things like mere appearance or personality. I've known too many "homely" people who were sexy, and too many good looking people who were not. What constitutes sexual chemistry is as elusive as smoke, yet it's immediately and undeniably recognizable when it exists. Again, I'm only speaking from my own experience...
W
W,
I've looked through quite a few of your blogs and am impressed. You
are very articulate and have well spoken perspective. I especially agree
with your thoughts on sexual chemistry.
Regards,
Mish
