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Four Types of Sex
As I see it, sex is a very basic, primal, and instinctual thing. For me to
be attracted to a particular partner, an emotional response isn't
necessary, though it's not unwelcome in some instances. Rather, it's a
matter of chemistry and hormonal response. I don't have this
response with just anyone, but I most certainly have it quite a bit
more often than an emotional response.
I classify sex in four basic ways:
Sex with no love and no chemistry/hormonal response
Sex with love only
Sex with chemistry/hormonal response only
Sex with both love and chemistry/hormonal response
I've tried it all four ways.
Sex with no love and no chemistry/hormonal response is mechanical
and unsatisfying. I've only done this a few times and I don't do
this sort at all anymore.
Sex with love and no chemistry/hormonal response is not sexually
satisfying, either. Such instances are a matter of trying too hard
and trying to force something that isn't there. It also has the
highest probability for emotional hurt. I also avoid these types of
encounters as well.
Sex with chemistry/hormonal response only can be extremely
satisfying depending upon the context, such as one night stands and
fuckbuddy relationships. They work best for anyone who is able to compartmentalize and see thevalue of sex for its own sake. As a libertine, this type is what is most common for me, as chemical attraction is vastly more common than being in love.
Sex with both love and chemistry/hormonal response is, of course, also
highly satisfying in its proper context, which are long term
committed relationships. However, they are less desirable when one is
merely interested in a one time deal, or a fuckbuddy relationship without
other expectations. This type tends to create complications which are a hassle in those types of relationships.
So, though I am a libertine, I am not entirely indiscriminate, as there are only two of the four types that I am comfortably engaging in.
Just give me a good club and a woman within range of my cave and I'll be
happy! LOL
That's a good post!
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As long as all parties involved know where each other stand and are
comfortable with the situation, then whatever. To not communicate one's
wishes would be unfair to the other.
Visit me @ http://pimme.blog-city.com
Interestingly enough, I indulged in option #2 for a long while and then
moved on to #3 with one particular being - my current spouse and I spent 2
years of intermittant and random encounters together doing number #3... and
somehow #4 came along after 2 more years...
It's been an interesting progression - sex and then intimicy.. and now here we are 8 years later doing a fair mix of all of the above.
Sometimes you have sex because the other wants sex - and you go through the mechanics AND it's usually a labor of love (or just to stop the bitching - haha).
Sometimes you want sex and it's all about just the sex and not the love. You're just horny. (Reading erotica or watching porn can do that... )
Sometimes you have sex and it's just love, and touching and exploring and not so much about the sex but the closeness.
And because We rarely do anything by the numbers .. in order.. I never know what the hell we're doing .. or if we're doing. :)
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Intimacy. I-N-T-I-M-A-C-Y. Intimacy.
Huked on foniks werked fur me.
I need a nap.
There's the situation when the chemical, hormonal and mental responses are
in check...and the LOVE most definitely exists....
and SEX is what's
missing.
It exists....but only in the mind.
What say you (and your readership) of those instances?
J
I agree wholeheartedly on the types of sex you've outlined.
There've been women with whom I was able to have unbelieveable sex, but there was no love. And ther have been women that I loved deeply, but there was no sexual attraction.
Erica Jong had the interesting notion of what she called The Zipless Fuck where two people share an intense relationship without sex.
Visit me @ http://gloryroad.blog-city.com
I agree wholeheartedly on the types of sex you've outlined.
There've been women with whom I was able to have unbelieveable sex, but there was no love. And ther have been women that I loved deeply, but there was no sexual attraction.
Erica Jong had the interesting notion of what she called The Zipless Fuck where two people share an intense relationship without sex.
Visit me @ http://gloryroad.blog-city.com
