Well, he could have worded that completely different, and it's not like you are actually taking his wife/girlfriend whatever he has. I'm sorry but that guy has some mental issues he needs to work through, at least it sounds that way to me. I don't think jealously should be any reason to spark enough anger to kill someone. I don't even know what to say about those judges saying that, except it doesn't surprise me. When married, the spouses seem to think of each other as their own personal property, which I've never understood. I guess that's why I have no desire to seek that for my life.

I do not think it is amoral, W. I am of the same mind. It is not up to you to enforce or even comment upon the state of a lover's marriage...if they come willingly and you're willing, then the die is cast, in my opinion. But then again, we BOTH be amoral...to which I say: let's party.

Seriously though, it will be a forever recurring matter of people believing that in marriage they possess their spouse in some manner or another...always. If you get down to it, traditional wedding vows stress this sense of possession by considering a marriage a binding of two into one... And again, there is a looming and almost overwhelming cultural credo that a man and woman, in a marriage, are a unit...emotionally, legally, financially. But I am just repeating things you already know, I am sure.

Most likely this person who commented was joking...or at least I hope so. I do not take kindly to threats (humour inspired or no) to my well being, as I am sure most people would feel. What I mean to say is: most men, and some women, say that they would go to drastic measures to ensure the stability (shall I insert a laugh?) of their marriage...as a half hearted attempt at a joke. But in my opinion, it is no laughing matter. When a person goes as far as to threaten another person, outside of their marriage, you would think that the 'significant' other would want to step back and evaluate the mental stability of their partner. Unfortunately, some women find this sentiment from their men endearing...at least until they step outside their marriage and are caught.

Ugh, well...you're all good in my amoral book of sin, W.

Well, it's pretty amoral, but not from the perspective of the infidelity within the marriage, but rather that within the friendship. It has nothing to do with whether or not your friend's spouse is willing to cheat but rather whether or not you value the friendship enough to respect some basic boundaries. There's plenty of pussy out there without dipping into that of your "friends". JMHO.

Jealousy and property, I'm intimately acquainted with both concepts. These were some of the bigest fights X and I would have early on in our marriage. I've always been of the mind that I was where I wanted to be by choice. I thought he was there for the same reason. I figured if either one of us was unhappy we knew where the doors were located. If he would have found the door, I would have waved bye and wished him luck. I certainly wouldn't have begged him not to leave or followed him with a gun. But then we know how this really ended up.

There was a time not so long ago when comments, like this jerks, were acceptable. Comments like the judges were also common. Women were considered property. It was acceptable to smack her around to "keep her in line". You had to have grounds for divorce. A woman had to have permission from her husband for birth control. It was "normal" for husbands to have affairs, but not wives. People could get sued for alienation of affection.

Today, these kind of comments are unacceptable. So is murder regardless of the circumstances.

I think it IS amoral from a friendship perspective. If you are truly a friend, then you would respect your friends choices as you expect him to respect yours. Whether or not his wife sleeps with you isn't my issue - it's that you would pursue something that could potentially hurt someone who is supposed to be a friend...

I guess that's the whole thing about marriage and the "contract" being the marriage license--people really DO think that they "own" each other, and to threaten to kill someone over infidelity (having their "property" stolen) is probably no different to them than brandishing a gun over someone who is stealing their horse or their car.

Maybe some feel that they own their spouse. I think that's silly and juvenile. Honestly, I don't believe the majority of married people feel that way. Marriage is something serious and precious. Lovey and I made a commitment to each other by our own choice and it's a beautiful, wonderful thing. We certainly don't think of it as a "contract".

I guess I am guilty of saying those same words when asked the question “What would you do if you found your husband in bed with another woman?” I don’t think I could actually commit murder, but I guess it is a way of portraying how much it would hurt my feelings. Kind of an “I hurt this bad, so you are going to hurt worse” type of thing. Now if my husband and I, at the start of our relationship had decided to have an open marriage and I found him in bed with some one else, I would have no right to be angry, because I knew this could happen. But since we decided to be intimate with each other and no one else, I would see this as a “breach of contract” and be livid with him! I guess there IS a thin line between love and hate…..that line being jealousy.

Well, there is an attempt to seduce as opposed to not doing anything. An analogy with this is that you give drugs to those who can be tempted with drug ( eg a minor or son or daughter ), as any parent would know, they'd be angry as hell when they find that out even if the minor or anybody they care about did consent to take the drugs. Maybe that person wouldn't necessarily kill but to verbalize how much hurtful it is.

I agree that it is likely that the individual in question said it offhandedly and if push came to shove, might not do it - BUT, there are FAR too many instances of this actually happening - inf act, think about it - the trend lately is not only the concept (primarily male - like it or not) that he "owns" the woman, but also the children - I cannot believe how many murders I see where the wife AND their kids are slaughtered - bastards. Or the ones that decide THEY want to die so they bring THEIR ENTIRE FAMILY with them! Again, there has to be a mindset that these are not individuals, complete in themselves, but merely extensions of the person.

Unfortunately, in many countries around the world it is STILL acceptable to kill the woman - including in some countries where even if the girl is RAPED she is allowed to be "honourably" murdered ....

and north america still has that underlying attitude that "well, it was extenuating circumstances" like that someone excuses taking a person's future from them.

I think he was using intentional hyperbole. I wouldn't kill anyone. I would be very, very hurt if my husband broke our vows, and doubly so if a friend were involved. Having said that, I cannot imagine betraying my husband that way. If he had a friend who hit on me, I'd take it as a joke. If he got too insistent, I'd tell him to get lost.