My Liberal Identity:
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Personal Space Violations
Despite being a libertine, I've never been much of a touchy-feely person. Most of the time, I limit myself to engaging in intimate touch with lovers, and the giving and accepting of comfort from those close to me. I'm not the type that goes around hugging everyone.
I have a keen sense of my own personal space, which I seek to maintain in nonsexual situations. I consider it rude when others invade that space for reasons other than intimacy or comfort.
While at work today, a coworker invaded my personal space in a way I find especially intolerable. The area where the drivers bag their orders and dispatch them is a narrow, crowded space and, during rush times, we're always dodging and bumping into one another. Though it sets my teeth on edge, I understand it's inevitable in this poorly-planned space.
However, the above-mentioned coworker crossed a line today when he said, "Excuse me" and, before I could maneuver around another driver to get out of the way, put his hands on me and pushed me out of the way. I immediately whirled on him and told him never to push me again.
I reacted on an instinctive, atavistic level. It was definitely a territorial thing, a matter of dominance. Fortunately, he backed off immediately, recognizing his faux pas, and I also let it go.
Other personal space invasions I can't abide are being tapped on the shoulder or someone tugging on my sleeve to get my attention. I taught my son at a very early age to never do either of these things with me.
Another thing that will piss me off is for someone to either shake or snap their fingers in my face. I've been known to tell people to get their finger out of my face before I break it off and hand it back to them. Again, a purely instinctive reaction.
Thoughts?
I'm exactly the same. That's why I detest travelling on the underground. I
need my personal space and become very twitchy if it is invaded. I do not
like being touched unless by invitation - and then only those close to me.
I think it is all a matter of courtesy. Strangers should not touch someone
who hasn't given them implicit permission to get closer. To do so
otherwise is a sign of aggression, plain and simple. Even with friends I
regularly give and receive hugs from, I ask first rather than just grab
them and hug. It is the polite thing to do!
i think it is reasonable...i prefer not to be touched without my
permission...there are some people that i will allow within my space no
matter what...but for the majority, no...it is extremely rude...
I'd prefer to keep my personal space, though I'm not as sensitive to it as
you seem to be. That said, on the rare occasions when I'm driving my mother
somewhere, it drives me nuts when she puts her hand in front of my face to
point at something. Absolutely nuts.
The last place I worked at, the owner had a nasty habit of poking people
with the antenna of the walkie talkie type radio he carried around. I would
have loved to have the guts to use your line about breaking it off and
handing it back to him. I am not a hugger person and I am having a hard
time with our new nice neighbors. They love to give hugs every time I see
them. I am sure I will get used to it over time, but I don’t like people
touching me.
Hey Mark - I'll stop copping a feel in the U from now on. Why didn't you
tell me sooner that you didn't like it? :)
I worked for many years in crowded areas, both behind busy bars and busy
cook's lines. A common practice was to place a hand on someone's back as
you went behind them with a gentle pressure. Definitely not a shove, just
to let them know you were there.
Solo. We never did two man cars, except when a new rookie was training
I don't care who touches me when, as long as: They don't have any
substances on their hands.
They aren't doing it in an overtly unwelcome sexual manner.
They aren't doing it to chastize me.
