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Polyamorous Civil Union Solemnized in the Netherlands
I am pleased to announce that the first legal civil union between three polyamorous partners was solemnized in the Netherlands on September 23, 2005.
Victor de Bruijn married both Mirjam Geven and Bianca (no last name given) in a ceremony before a notary who duly registered their civil union. De Bruijn is heterosexual and both women are bisexual.
When asked to comment, Victor said,“A marriage between three persons is not possible in the Netherlands, but a civil union is. We went to the notary in our marriage costume and exchanged rings. We consider this to be just an ordinary marriage.”
Predictably, there has been a flurry of outraged reaction from conservatives, all bemoaning this turn of events and uttering dire predictions of gloom if such a thing catches on in larger numbers and is allowed to continue. Those against gay marriage, have been gleefully saying "I told you so", as they'd previously used slippery slope arguments in their opposition to same sex unions, saying it would lead to legal acknowledgement of "polygamy".
Though I've always agreed with conservatives that the acceptance of gay marriage would likely eventually lead to the legal acceptance of multi-partner unions, I see this as a good thing, rather than a disturbing one. It's about time that there is an official acknowledgement that human beings are not naturally monogamous and that provision is made for those who wish to live in legally and socially recognized nonmonogamous relationships.
While I still believe that the best thing would be to eliminate marriage of any sort as a legal category altogether, I also firmly believe that as long as legal marriage exists, it should be available to all consenting adults: straight, gay, bi, monogamous and nonmonogamous. I see the extension of legal marriage and its attendant benefits as an important middle step to the ultimate goal of completely privatizing marriage and its total deregulation.
I also see this as an important step in recognizing all adult consensual sexual arrangements, including libertinism.
Congratulations to Victor, Bianca, and Mirjam. May they know nothing but happiness together.
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http://www.brusselsjournal.com/node/301
Mama always said....
"I also firmly believe that as long as legal marriage exists, it should be
available to all consenting adults: straight, gay, bi, monogamous and
nonmonogamous."
Yeah, great for the Netherlands. There's a place that the rest of the
world copies.
And unless the two women are more into each other than they are into the
guy, I give it 5 years tops. No man can please two women at the same time
for more than an hour or so (and even there I'm being generous).
What the hell! If it makes you happy and does no harm to others good luck !
As far as I am concerned one woman is enough trouble for any man. :-)
i, too, read the article...and smiled...finally... :)
Sounds like one of my husbands fantasies! But I think if all parties
involved are happy so be it. If they want to commit to each other they
should be allowed. Just because people are married does not always mean
they will stay married. That is why there is divorce.
I find myself in line behind Gina. I am not against gays marrying, I am
not against poly marriages, but I do stand behind her in regard to the
length of poly relationships. Okay, there may be a FEW out there that
last, but I've been in two myself and know how difficult they can be. I
also know a pretty good number of others who have gone that route and none
of them have made it last very long.
I would guess they have as much chance as making it as any other couple in
this day and age, though it always seems in threesome friendships one
person can more easily feel ganged up on. If one wants to break it off, is
the marriage still considered a failure even though the other two remain
together?
