As those of you who read this blog regularly know, I have a woman whom I consider to be my primary lover. That is, she's the one I see most often and there's more of an emotional component with her than with the others. I've been seeing her a few years now.

On a recent visit, several days ago, I could tell she had something on her mind the minute I came through the door. I asked her what it was, and she told me that she'd had a few dates with a guy, a fellow teacher. This wasn't a big deal to me, as she is just as free to see others as I am. However, I was surprised to know that she'd seen someone more than once; I'd not known her to do that since I'd been seeing her.

She went on to tell me that this guy was acting like he wanted to get serious; that he'd actually told her that he'd like to have an exclusive relationship, wanting her to give up seeing others in order to concentrate on their relationship.

When she told me this, I told her to do whatever she felt she needed to do; that I'd not stand in her way. I've always known that our relationship was of a limited nature and that this day would eventually come.

Her problem was that she didn't know what she wanted; she liked him, but she loved me. I reminded her that our relationship would never be any more than what it currentlly is; that if she wanted to have children, she'd need to find someone else to have them with.

I left shortly after that, to give her time to think. Later that day, she called me back and told me that she'd told him that she wasn't ready for an exclusive relationship yet; that he wasn't happy about it, but seemed to accept it, for now.

I suppose if I were a less selfish man, I'd shove her out of the nest so she could move on, but I won't. She'll have to make that move on her own.

tags: personal  

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