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Thoughts on Thinking
Sometimes, I'll ask a person what they're thinking about. Sometimes they tell me, but other times I've been told (in a non-sarcastic manner) "nothing".
I don't get this -- how can a person not be thinking of something, even if it's something trivial? Depending on who it is, I'll sometimes press them further and say, "Nothing? Your mind is totally blank right now? Would I hear static (krrrkkkkzhhhhh) if I could listen inside your head right now?"
I've always got some thought running through my head, even if it's just mundane bullshit. I can't just turn it all off to blank static or dead air. About the only time I come close to emptying my mind is during sex and especially at the moment of orgasm, when I give myself over to my raw animal instincts.
I've got an active, vivid imagination and it's through my thought life that I'm able to patiently bear boring jobs, waiting in lines, and so on. But it's a double edged sword, and sometimes I have too many thoughts racing through my head when all I want to do is wind down and go to sleep.
Of course, having sex at bedtime can head off thought-related insomnia, and I will sometimes "take matters in hand" if I happen to be sleeping alone that night. I've also got some mind games that I've described in previous entries that help to reduce the "racing thoughts" problem.
How about you? Do you always have at least some thought going on in your mind or are you able to completely empty your mind of thought?
I am real good at having junk cluttering up my thoughts. It tends to
happen most in the middle of the night. I can also completely empty my
mind, feel the sun on my face, listen to birds (when I could hear), and do
something repetitive without thought. I called it auto-pilot, X called it
going to Catty-land. Of course when he was asking what I was thinking it
usually always involved the sarcastic "nothing" because sometimes my
thoughts were the only place he couldn't dominate or control.
I always wonder the same thing when I ask kids to write in their journals
as a "free write" instead of giving them a topic and they tell me they
don't have anything to write about. Just write about what's on your mind.
"Nothing's on my mind." Really? Nothing? Seems hard to believe. I might not
be able to churn out anything that would be worth reading on my blog at any
given moment, but I'm certainly thinking about something.
This brings interesting thoughts to mind for me. I can zone into my own
world given the right stimuli ( not drugs p~) music, surroundings, etc.
and if someone were to ask me I would say nothing also. As John said,
meditation is a time that your mind is clear, I think even the patern of
breathing is not thought about when you get to deep meditation. At least
for me. It's my private place.
People who say "nothing" are probably thinking about something private that
they just don't wish to share. Same with all those who answer, "Fine."
when you ask how they are doing. If they honestly said, "Not so good."
they know that they'd have to follow up with a long, detailed explanation
that they don't want to share.
Thought and coherence are two distinct things. That is why more often then
not (though not always) the truly capable can't explain how they do what
they do. That isn't to say I think when we say nothing that we are thinking
anything profound, just, more often then not, nothing coherent.
