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Torn Between Two Weddings
The other night I talked to my sister on the phone for the first time in several months. Because her daughter is getting married next month, much of her conversation revolved around that.
My niece changed her wedding date several times, mainly because of scheduling conflicts with the caterer they'd chosen. The wedding date she finally settled on ended up being the same date that my first cousin decided to have hers. Everyone in the family will be attending my cousin's wedding, and not my niece's.
I should mention that my cousin is already married, having gotten married in a civil ceremony at the courthouse several months ago. She is having another formal ceremony and reception on the day my niece will get married for the first time.
My sister understands that most of the family will attend the cousin's wedding, but she is pissed off at my brother because he chose the cousin's wedding over my niece's. She figured that my brother is her daughter's only uncle and that our cousin is already married, after all.
Now, I'm not attending either wedding as I'm too far away and I don't really get into these gift solicitations for monogamy. However, in this case, I can fully understand my sister's exasperation with my brother.
What do you think?
If cousin's wedding celebration was organized and promoted first, and
people have already said "I will" to that ceremony, then cousin gets first
dibs in my book, never mind that they're already married. Why did your
neice book her wedding for the same day? Just curious.
Paula and LynnM have it right. First come, first served. I'm sorry that
it's causing so much trouble, but it makes sense.
I can understand the other guests going to the cousin's wedding, but I
would think out of respect to your sister that your brother would have
considered his sister's feelings over his cousin's. I know I would have.
I'm with Rosebud on this one. It's her Uncle and I think he should be
there over the cousins 'formal' wedding.
The "gift solicitations" are a tradition stemming from when young people
got married who didn't have any real furniture or appliances of their own.
(Yeah, it goes back further than that with dowries and the like, but you
catch my drift). I think it's dumb to buy candle snuffers and crystal
stemware for people who normally eat at McDonalds five times a week.
Is there any way your brother could attend your niece's wedding and then
attend the reception for your cousin ? Yes, I'm aiming for a compromise
solution. :)
Pimme, in this case, the cousin bride is 40 and my niece is 31 and has been
living with the groom for several years already.
if they already accepted the cousins' invitation BEFORE your niece FINALLY
settled on hers - then it would be extremely RUDE to say, "oh sorry, can't
do it now" - your niece should have been cognizant of that date and worked
around it - I think it is ignorant of HER to try to put a cramp in her
cousin's wedding.
